There are annoyances in everyday life: realising there is no milk when your tea is half-way to brewed, power cuts mid-way through a film, a wobbly table which throws you coffee in the air and spills it all over you just before an interview, people eating Burger King on the train, children playing outside your house, or (and this probably the cardinal sin of them all), only having Rose wine available.

Alarmingly, there is something worse that Rose. In fact, one of Britain’s greatest inventors’s addressed it a few years ago - he was so angry about it. Yet, as citizens afforded protection by Her Majesty, one simple convenience is ill afforded to us.

In fact, many people do not realise the dangers these beastly contraptions pose; a gruesome, dastardly end (potentially) awaits; electrocution, violent sickness or indeed crippling back pains like one who has just been put on a medieval rack.

Yes, I am talking about hand-dryers. No, actually, not all hand dryers: useless hand-dryers which only serve a purpose of negating the owner of providing a useful hand-drying implement; such as a Dyson Airblade or paper towels.

It is only through sheer anger, annoyance and proprietors attitudes (which they back-up using health and safety regulations) that I write this blog. In doing so, I hope that all of us lead richer and more fulfilling lives.

If there is one thing in the world that I would improve, it would be making hand-dryers that work. In an effort to seek this change, I am going to review hand-dryers of the United Kingdom. In doing this, I will look for a number of criteria:
Power – a good hand-dryer should have sufficient power to dry the hand in under 15 seconds. Not bone dry, but for most excess water to have left
Warmth – is there anything worse than a hand-dryer that doesn’t warm up quickly on a cold day. I do appreciate that a hand-dryer can take a couple of seconds to warm-up, however, a good powerful blast normally shakes off the cobwebs anyway
Automatic starting – simply for convenience and hygiene, it is preferable to have an automatic startFace-function – has anyone ever used the face-function? I don’t actually think they have and, often, I think is a way for manufacturers to save themselves time and money by only affixing two screws at the top.
Height – Everyone has a right to use a hand-dryer at a safe height. So I always believe that there should be two hand-dryers available, one which is lower and one which is higher. It simply isn’t fair for everyone to use a low hand-dryer and this is predominantly because of back injury.
Style – everyone loves an exciting style of hand-dryer; whether vintage or futuristic. Who doesn’t remember seeing their first Dyson Airblade (mine was at Liverpool St Station) and being amazed at the new style
Ease of cleaning – Good hygiene is the key reason for hand washing and so every good hand dryer should be easy to clean with a germicidal cleanser.
Variety – Sometimes I like a paper towel, sometimes I like a dryer. The best public conveniences have this option.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

A Pub - somewhere between Wiltshire and Surrey


 
Power
Gerbil breath
Warmth
A Scottish Summer (cold)
Automatic Starting
No, but this probably didn’t exist when this dryer was installed
Face function
Body contortions may allow this; recommended only for gymnasts
Height
A very reasonable height
Style
I once described an office I was working in as ugly, but the girls shouted at me saying it is vintage and therefore cool. This is vintage, and I suppose, therefore cool
Ease of Cleaning
Look at the heat defence grate. Does this look hygienic. Dryer design has moved on a lot since this machine was created, and if one thing has benefited, it is ease of cleaning
Variety
This was the only hand drying facility available unfortunately

Review: This hand dryer picture was sent to me, but seeing such a vintage machine reminds me of the excitement of being a child and wondering if the pub had an unwashed towel or dryer. Since then, we have all been campaigning for improvement. Was this like porn? A quick moment of pleasure, but not satisfying long-term drying? Perhaps.

No comments:

Post a Comment