Salisbury Waitrose

 

Power	More thrust than Concorde
Warmth	Surprisingly cool, but so fast the hands were dry in seconds
Automatic Starting	Before hands have entered the machine it starts
Face function	No. It might work for Lemit Opik as it is narrow, but for the majority users, there isn’t a face function
Height	Good – both for those who are vertically challenged and the giraffes among us
Style	I still think these are the coolest dryers. It looks like a monster is going to disgorge fingers upon first use, but to the relief of most, it dries.
Ease of Cleaning	Not the easiest, but it does prevent water dripping on the floor and down the wall
Variety	This was it, but I’m not sure this is a bad thing.

 

Review: People do argue that Waitrose costs more than other supermarkets, but it is a relief that when buying quinoa pilaf salad, you have a full drying experience. Well done Waitrose, I salute you.

Twickenham Stadium

Power	None
Warmth	If it is warm, the paper will be warm, if cold, the paper will be cold
Automatic Starting	No, and the ‘pull for paper’ function is germ heaven
Face function	Yes, and in fact most of the body can be dried (save for public decency laws)
Height	Surprisingly high, but this can still be reached by all
Style	Many will be amazed at this, but rugby fans aren’t known for their style and this machine certainly lives up to this. I was there at a Rihanon concert – the teenagers were stylish. I wasn’t. They weren’t impressed by the looks of these vast machines.
Ease of Cleaning	The thing about these towel dispensers is that you need a huge bin to contain the paper, particularly with the usage resulting from a big event.
Variety	With reason, there is none. Choice could cause delays and at the Stadium, there is no time for delays

Review: it is all about speed and through flow at Twickers and these huge machines quickly and silently dry hundreds of hands each minute. Not for the environmentally conscious among us, but the paper was rough, indicating that it was recycled.

A Pub - somewhere between Wiltshire and Surrey

 

Power	Gerbil breath
Warmth	A Scottish Summer (cold)
Automatic Starting	No, but this probably didn’t exist when this dryer was installed
Face function	Body contortions may allow this; recommended only for gymnasts
Height	A very reasonable height
Style	I once described an office I was working in as ugly, but the girls shouted at me saying it is vintage and therefore cool. This is vintage, and I suppose, therefore cool
Ease of Cleaning	Look at the heat defence grate. Does this look hygienic. Dryer design has moved on a lot since this machine was created, and if one thing has benefited, it is ease of cleaning
Variety	This was the only hand drying facility available unfortunately

Review: This hand dryer picture was sent to me, but seeing such a vintage machine reminds me of the excitement of being a child and wondering if the pub had an unwashed towel or dryer. Since then, we have all been campaigning for improvement. Was this like porn? A quick moment of pleasure, but not satisfying long-term drying? Perhaps.

Rules of Engagement

There are annoyances in everyday life: realising there is no milk when your tea is half-way to brewed, power cuts mid-way through a film, a wobbly table which throws you coffee in the air and spills it all over you just before an interview, people eating Burger King on the train, children playing outside your house, or (and this probably the cardinal sin of them all), only having Rose wine available.

Alarmingly, there is something worse that Rose. In fact, one of Britain’s greatest inventors’s addressed it a few years ago - he was so angry about it. Yet, as citizens afforded protection by Her Majesty one simple convenience is ill afforded to us.

In fact, many people do not realise the dangers these beastly contraptions pose; a gruesome, dastardly end (potentially) awaits; electrocution, violent sickness or indeed crippling back pains as if you have just been put on a medieval rack.

Yes, I am talking about hand-dryers. No, actually, not all hand dryers: useless hand-dryers which only serve a purpose of negating the owner of providing a useful hand-drying implement; such as a Dyson Airblade or paper towels.

It is only through sheer anger, annoyance and proprietors attitudes (which are backed-up by health and safety regulation excuses) that I write this blog. In doing so, I hope that all of us lead richer and more fulfilling lives.

I have, therefore, decided to blog about the hand-dryers of the United Kingdom.

In doing this, I will look for a number of criteria:

Power – a good hand-dryer should have sufficient power to dry the hand in under 15 seconds. Not bone dry, but for most excess water to have left

Warmth –  is there anything worse than a hand-dryer that doesn’t warm up quickly on a cold day. I do appreciate that a hand-dryer can take a couple of seconds to warm-up, however, a good powerful blast normally shakes off the cobwebs anyway

Automatic starting – simply for convenience and hygiene, it is preferable to have an automatic start

Face-function – has anyone ever used the face-function? I don’t actually think they have and, often, I think is a way for manufacturers to save themselves time and money by only affixing two screws at the top.

Height – Everyone has a right to use a hand-dryer at a safe height. So I always believe that there should be two hand-dryers available, one which is lower and one which is higher. It simply isn’t fair for everyone to use a low hand-dryer and this is predominantly because of back injury.

Style – everyone loves an exciting style of hand-dryer; whether vintage or futuristic. Who doesn’t remember seeing their first Dyson Airblade (mine was at Liverpool St Station) and being amazed at the new style

Ease of cleaning – Good hygiene is the key reason for hand washing and so every good hand dryer should be easy to clean with a germicidal cleanser.

Variety – Sometimes I like a paper towel, sometimes I like a dryer. The best public conveniences have this option.